I used to think there was no such thing as “happy ever after”
Not just in a relationship sense, but life in general.
I realise now that I was selling myself, and others, short with this thinking.
And I'd be doing clients a massive disservice as a people-helper.
So I became a change-maker instead.
I help people realise our strength to make these changes is INNATE.
It’s not forged through adversity or coping with your struggles or learning to simply deal with daily dramas
It’s about learning you have the gift, the ability
to simply rise above.
Back before I had this understanding …
I used to see myself as broken.
I used to think that I needed fixing.
I used to think that I needed coping strategies to “manage” my anxiety and depression.
I used to think, right up until a few years ago, that we need to “work” on ourselves in order to feel better.
It occurred to me that the more I thought about having to work at something, the more like “work” it would feel to me …
That, if I saw life situations as problems that needed to be resolved, it would feel like work.
If I saw myself as broken, the fixing felt like work.
When I was having therapy and counselling ,to me, it seemed like “work”
We always seemed to focus on the negative.
Which made it feel like HARD “work!”
I was encouraged to talk about my thoughts and feelings.
That just made me more self-absorbed.
Discussing my past, made me feel MORE depressed.
Thinking about the future, made me feel more anxious.
Analysing my “problems” just made me an expert on… MY PROBLEMS.
I found this approach painful.
I would get defensive. Which, of course, made me feel less inclined to open up.
I felt even MORE insecure!
Learning to “cope” with these things involved more struggle. More “work” as I saw it.
Focusing on my problems made me go up even more in my own head.
It brought out the absolute worst in me.
Sure, I got temporary relief some sessions…
But it was like I was “letting off steam”
..rather than simply turning down the heat each time my thoughts, feelings and emotions were at boiling point.
That’s why I chose to have coaching instead.
I learned that simply talking about my problems wasn’t going to change them or make them go away.
I didn’t need to just learn how to cope or manage these things…
But actually CHANGE them.
See, my painful memories, anxieties , negative emotions, over-thinking, bad habits, poor communication, anger, self-sabotage, self-destructive behaviour and struggling
… were all just symptoms.
Not the cause.
So, why did I chose to become a coach and not a counsellor?
For both myself and my clients.
We do not need to use more coping mechanisms, strategies, tips, techniques, more models, theories, concepts to work on these things.
Simply realise that changing your MIND is all it takes…
To set you free.